Foolproof, Almost

Well color me surprised.  It turns out that the technicalities of law and order may have finally pierced the senses in some of the worlds most depressing places.

Not all of them, Zimbabwe will stay on my imaginary list of countries that could be better run by an otter with down syndrome until they at least get the inflation down to triple digits.  It is at 1700%, so come on Mugabe prove to the rest of the world that you are NOT merely a petty, cruel, violent, self absorbed dictator whose only concern is for his legacy.

The places of which I speak are the countries of Venezuela and Pakistan.  Not exactly the bastion of democratic values I grant you, but Rome wasn’t built in a day either.

What could these two countries possibly do to make their domestic policies seemed improved?  It is all in the paperwork my friend.

Lets start with Venezuela, cause they have oil, but no nukes, and as long as we have an oil based economy upheaval in these places are never good.  What is good is that it appears as though “Windbag Chavez”, as I like to call him, has been at least sidetracked in his desire to completely destroy the country of Venezuela.

He had pulled out all the stops to allow new legislation that would allow him to take control of the banks, suspend civil rights, and be President for life, and it failed.  Apparently there are 100 thousand smarter people than stupid people in the country, because that is the margin of loss Windbag Chavez had to suffer through.

While this is a good thing that it failed, it is really a not good thing that is failed by so narrow a margin.  I mean it is hard for me to believe that someone allow legislation drafted by an unresponsive, fiscally irresponsible, ideologically driven platform that did not take reason into account.  *Editors note, this in no way is to be thought of as an insult to the Bush Administration, as they are wondrous leaders with a vision of peace and prosperity, will you please stop puring water on me* 

The second country I have to give mad, stupid props to is Pakistan, though they don’t have oil, they do have nukes so we have to pay them a little attention.  Because they have barred Nawaz Sharif from running in the Presidential Elections.

For those of you keeping score, Sharif is the second formerly exiled Prime Ministerish leader of Pakistan who was going to run for President this election season.  As a side note, we need to explain that this is not what we mean when we ask third world countries to recycle, and yes I mean you Virescent.

Turns out the pardon Musharraf gave him to allow him back in the country did not extend to other convictions on his record, that would have made him eligible to run for President.  Though rumors persist that Karl Rove has offered his services since he has experience getting a religious fanatic with a shady past who happens to make rash decisions but telling people he is still a servant of God.  *Editors note, this in no way reflects the Bush Administration, which is just and fair, taking into account all views and options before acting, don’t shock me again….*

The only caveat to this turn of events is our good friend Bhutto is seeking to have him reinstated so that it can be seen as a “fair” election.  This may also be a ploy to have the religious fanatics try not to kill her, since they are a majority of Sharif’s constituency, something he shares with the Saudi’s.

I do suppose that I need to say that perhaps maybe not ALL Muslims in Sudan are stupid, just most of them.  They decided today to let the British teacher merely be deported immediately, and not wait the extra ten days in prison.  So congrats Sudan, you aren’t as stupid as we thought, but not by much.

So while the world still hangs in the balance of just and unjust, we can rest in the knowledge that there are checks and balances in every system, which makes the damage done by individuals negligible,should they follow the American System which is Foolproof, Well Almost.

Muslims in Sudan are Stupid

There can be no other reason for something so silly to turn into an international event. If there was ever a moment in time to look at why Islamic countries that have natural resources, are still bassackerds it is this moment.

Mohammad is one of the most popular names in Islam. Why? Because it is the name of the Prophet who crafted Jewish, Christian, and Indigenous religious beliefs together and called it a religion. They then began to take over all of the Middle East, like that is a challenge, and sweeping through Africa and parts of Europe. So it was this cycle of reinforcement that they had “the true” faith.

One could also say that it was because they had people who looked into medical, philosophical, and scientific advancements thus making them a superior fighting force than those they fought, but then you would have to be rational.

Fast forward a couple hundred years with that same religious people that had a hunger for knowledge then found that such quests were against the teachings of the Prophet and kill those who didn’t comply, and have the repressive Christian Church lighten up on its technological breakthroughs and presto, we have the modern age.

How far has the West come do to this line of thinking? Cell phones, laptops, nuclear weapons and walking on the moon. How far has the Middle East come? They get upset at people who let 7 year old name Teddy Bears. Which by the way Republicans should issue their own Jihad, for naming a toy after Theodore Roosevelt, instead of the true prophet of the Lord Ronald Reagan, Peace be Upon Him.

My favorite part of this story is the quote given by the Brit’s employer, “It’s a pretty fair verdict, she could have had six months in prison, and a fine, and she only got 15 days and deportation.” Whaaaaaaaat? That logic makes my head hurt and I lived in the deep south for 10 years.

Though this could be a positive thing. I mean if Muslims were not the hypocritical people. If you don’t want “modern” technology like bikini’s or television or fire, then don’t use modern weapons to attack Western targets. Use the weapons that Allah gave you sticks and stones, that way you get to have the vestal virgins, and we are rid of your stupid ideology.

I mean lets at least be congruent with our own teaching shall we? Christ told us that is would be easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a man of wealth to enter heaven, so we began to build advanced technology to make smaller camels. You on the other hand call the last 1300 years of advancement heresy, yet use those heretical technologies to kill others. I find that confusing.

I think it is time to bring back a practice that the Romans used, which seems to be the only method of communication you people understand, decimation. In Rome it was when every tenth person was killed to make a point. Now it may take killing every third, or even every other person before you get the point, but in the long run, considering your past behavior, it may well be worth it.

The only groups of people that seem to be able to merge the teaching of Islam with being decent human beings are the Druze, Kurds, and Turks. Everybody else seems to have a psychological disorder that gives them moral authority to kill all who do not agree. And to you hippys that feel I am doing the same thing, you would be wrong.  Because as I write this, reports are flying in that thousands of Sudanese want to have the British Teacher executed.

With the atrocities that the Government of Sudan has done to the Africans in Darfur, for us to hold this “Muhammad-Gate” as a pinnacle of lunacy is sadder still. Perhaps a message does need to be sent to Sudan, and the Islamic world to knock it off. But it may take wiping out the whole populace, since Muslims In Sudan Are Stupid.