Funny Math

Apparently it is elections season somewhere and with it comes accusations of misconduct, high emotions, and stupid rhetoric.  This doesn’t even count the typhoon that will be the US Presidential race, cause if it comes down to a Mormon or an African American, the South may try to secede again.

But today is another combo of troubled Democratic countries trying, apparently, to be examples of fairness and just reason. The only problem is the ones who are trying to cloak themselves in these sheep’s clothing are worse wolves than the man they oppose.

We all by know understand that the people of Pakistan may not like what Musharraf has been doing to their country, mainly being an ally of the US, and we haven’t liked what he has done, not crackdown on the tribal areas.

Now what we have is a union of evil taking place to make sure that Musharraf doesn’t maintain his position of leadership in Pakistan.  It appears as though two exiled leaders equal legitimate opposition, as they are now “champions” of the people they once took advantage of.

The audacity of these people can be astounding, if these incompetent retards wouldn’t be given keys to nuclear capabilities, it would almost be fantastically hilarious.   Thanks to modern science, and China, that is not possible.

So now we are all observer status constituents, to an election where the government does not even have control over its own borders.  A government that still has conflicts with India over the Kashmir borders, with a population that still sees the United States as the root cause of their troubles.  Though on the bright side, executing a teacher for naming a bear Muhammad seemed stupid to them to, she should be executed for showing too much skin.

Their choices are a corrupt exiled leader who has been living in the West, and whose major political decision that the Taliban running Afghanistan would be a good idea.

Whose husband has been interrogated for either being, or having been in the company of, terrorist organizations.  They are even accused of staging the attack upon Bhutto, to make her more sympathetic.

At first I too shrugged it off, but the grand stage acumen she has been showing makes me wonder, that and no other attacks have been tried since.

The other choice is an exiled leader who has been living with the Saudi’s and we all know what their major export is, Islamic Fundamentalists.  For all of you who said oil, that is a distant second and merely a means to fund their favorite export.

His main platform is that Pakistan has lost its way due to forgetting about the true soul of Islam.  You know, long beards chicks being covered up, and attacking those who do not practice the one true faith.  The same stuff that Republicans fight about over here.

What is troubling is that these, combined with Musharraf are the best that Pakistan can offer.  Creme rises to the top an any system, but these people make one question such logic.

At the very least we have been extremely lucky with our political leaders being statesmen.   Those few who have the arrogance to be great and do what they can to better their careers, but still have the good of the country in mind.

Too bad Pakistan does not want that as their legacy,  instead they would prefer to be a third rate country that thinks they are ready to take the next step into legitimacy of the “First World”.  How they came to that conclusion is some Funny Math.

Foolproof, Almost

Well color me surprised.  It turns out that the technicalities of law and order may have finally pierced the senses in some of the worlds most depressing places.

Not all of them, Zimbabwe will stay on my imaginary list of countries that could be better run by an otter with down syndrome until they at least get the inflation down to triple digits.  It is at 1700%, so come on Mugabe prove to the rest of the world that you are NOT merely a petty, cruel, violent, self absorbed dictator whose only concern is for his legacy.

The places of which I speak are the countries of Venezuela and Pakistan.  Not exactly the bastion of democratic values I grant you, but Rome wasn’t built in a day either.

What could these two countries possibly do to make their domestic policies seemed improved?  It is all in the paperwork my friend.

Lets start with Venezuela, cause they have oil, but no nukes, and as long as we have an oil based economy upheaval in these places are never good.  What is good is that it appears as though “Windbag Chavez”, as I like to call him, has been at least sidetracked in his desire to completely destroy the country of Venezuela.

He had pulled out all the stops to allow new legislation that would allow him to take control of the banks, suspend civil rights, and be President for life, and it failed.  Apparently there are 100 thousand smarter people than stupid people in the country, because that is the margin of loss Windbag Chavez had to suffer through.

While this is a good thing that it failed, it is really a not good thing that is failed by so narrow a margin.  I mean it is hard for me to believe that someone allow legislation drafted by an unresponsive, fiscally irresponsible, ideologically driven platform that did not take reason into account.  *Editors note, this in no way is to be thought of as an insult to the Bush Administration, as they are wondrous leaders with a vision of peace and prosperity, will you please stop puring water on me* 

The second country I have to give mad, stupid props to is Pakistan, though they don’t have oil, they do have nukes so we have to pay them a little attention.  Because they have barred Nawaz Sharif from running in the Presidential Elections.

For those of you keeping score, Sharif is the second formerly exiled Prime Ministerish leader of Pakistan who was going to run for President this election season.  As a side note, we need to explain that this is not what we mean when we ask third world countries to recycle, and yes I mean you Virescent.

Turns out the pardon Musharraf gave him to allow him back in the country did not extend to other convictions on his record, that would have made him eligible to run for President.  Though rumors persist that Karl Rove has offered his services since he has experience getting a religious fanatic with a shady past who happens to make rash decisions but telling people he is still a servant of God.  *Editors note, this in no way reflects the Bush Administration, which is just and fair, taking into account all views and options before acting, don’t shock me again….*

The only caveat to this turn of events is our good friend Bhutto is seeking to have him reinstated so that it can be seen as a “fair” election.  This may also be a ploy to have the religious fanatics try not to kill her, since they are a majority of Sharif’s constituency, something he shares with the Saudi’s.

I do suppose that I need to say that perhaps maybe not ALL Muslims in Sudan are stupid, just most of them.  They decided today to let the British teacher merely be deported immediately, and not wait the extra ten days in prison.  So congrats Sudan, you aren’t as stupid as we thought, but not by much.

So while the world still hangs in the balance of just and unjust, we can rest in the knowledge that there are checks and balances in every system, which makes the damage done by individuals negligible,should they follow the American System which is Foolproof, Well Almost.