Rejoice! For the advancement in technological innovation is at hand! US scientists have successfully cloned a rhesus macaque monkey. Awesomeness. Now we don’t have to worry about extinct species anymore we can just clone them from the remaining population. We can also start dipping into that awesomeness of genetic manipulation and finally make X-Men the reality that is should be.

The technical of you may be wondering, “Bush’s speech about Human-Animal Hybrids may not seem so obviously stupid anymore.” You would be incorrect, but it was a nice thought. For this is the type of advancement that will bring the pressure to bear on the illegitimate non-use of stem cells in research.

Granted I don’t want a clone of me out there, since the universe can only create perfection once, and may turn in on itself were there to be any more of me. My true concern would be how this technology would be used against the United States. I mean think if the Republicans were to throw a Reagan Clone into the Presidential race this year, his speeches would encompass, “Bin Laden tear down this wall!” Or, “Reagan Smash!”

The upside would be he would approve stem cell research in order to cure diseases like Parkinson’s, Cancer, and Alzheimer’s stuff that you compassionate people care about. We could even salvage the failed Bush Foreign Policy.

Clones don’t have souls, neither do the Cheney’s or Robert Novak coincidentally, so they can be sent into battle without having to have the headache of casualty reports. The clones not the Cheney’s and Novak, they are too self important to get rid of. We could also interrogate our enemies however we wanted cause we don’t have to worry about clones being psychological trauma, they can just be put down and listed as “collateral damage”.

Other benefits could be utilized as well. The FDA could use clones in order to test whatever horrible medicine, or hormone injected foods could cause damage. We could then just dump them and the drugs that don’t work. It would be so much better than having to deal with the freaks at PETA complaining about testing on animal, and the lawsuits that stem from bad drugs.

Even the organ donation market would benefit. Instead of having to wait on a list we could just clone healthy organs, or if they are failing due to genetic mishaps then we could clone healthy ones from other people. Spinal cord injuries may be cured through these same measures.

We could even revamp our space program through the taxation of these clones, they can’t work for free, that would be inhumane, its not like they are illegal aliens. These brave not-really men and women could be the scout units for our exploration in space. Unforeseen events such as ejection into space, explosions, radiation poisoning, what other bad things could happen, could be tried out this way first.

Well maybe it is too good of an idea to be true. Helpful stuff like this would benefit society too much more conservatives to allow to happen. What is the point of being the elite in society if you can’t be the only ones to never suffer the consequences of your actions. Aren’t there enough clones of poor people already? So write letters to your Congressman and ask, “Dude, where’s my clone?”